


and we're set alight (we're afire love)

by ava5500



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/F, Just Mush, it's literally just mush, kind of almost a soulmate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-30 10:37:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21426844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ava5500/pseuds/ava5500
Summary: Emily wants everything that Lindsey Horan has.That is, until she starts wanting Lindsey.
Relationships: Lindsey Horan/Emily Sonnett
Comments: 25
Kudos: 279





	1. love the way that you conquer your fear

**Author's Note:**

> Needed something lighthearted as I get deeper into the kellex fic.
> 
> Pretty much unedited, sorry lol

Emily Sonnett wasn’t always in love with Lindsey Horan.

In fact, at one point, Emily would argue she absolutely detested her.

It all started before she even got to Hogwarts.

Because when Emily was 11 (_almost_ 12), the thing she wanted more than anything in the entire world was to be sorted into Gryffindor.

Sure, her new wand was neat. And her textbooks were interesting, and she wanted an owl pretty badly –

But being in Gryffindor felt like it was a right of passage. Proof that you were made of something _strong_.

“I don’t really get it, Em,” Rose had said on the train as they clicked their way toward the biggest moment of Emily’s life. “Gryffindor is like, the stupid house.”

“It is _not_,” Emily had retorted, twirling her wand absentmindedly. “It’s the impressive one. It’s the house that shows you’re worth something, you know?”

“No. Not at all.”

And Emily rolled her eyes, because of course Rose didn’t get it. Her best friend came from an entire family of Slytherins, and she was perfectly content with accepting the same fate.

Emily bounced nervously.

And when they finally, _finally_ reached the castle, and the candles illuminated the hall, Emily saw the table full of students with bright red and gold displayed proudly on their chests. They laughed louder than any of the other tables, unafraid to let their rowdiness spill over and disperse through the room.

_That _was where she belonged.

The first time Emily saw Lindsey Horan, she didn’t totally register it at first.

Because Lindsey was just another girl in the swarm of first years. And when she walked up to the stool, she didn’t really stand out in any way – sitting politely, keeping quiet as the old hat was dropped onto her head, eyes fixated on her shoes.

No, Lindsey didn’t stand out - until the sorting hat roared ‘GRYFFINDOR!’, and her face lit up with pride.

Emily was instantly jealous.

She still had to wait, shifting from foot to foot anxiously, while Lindsey got to walk over to the cheering table with her head held high. While Lindsey was accepted immediately with near painful back slaps and enthusiastic handshakes.

And Emily waited. She waited for what felt like ages, to the point where she was so focused on waiting that she almost missed her name.

“Sonnett, Emily.”

She willed her legs not to shake as she walked up to the stool. When she looked over at the Gryffindor table, Lindsey was watching her, surrounded by a flood of red and gold and _boldness_.

‘_I’ll be there soon_,” Emily had thought to herself.

The hat fell so far down her head that it covered her eyes - she suddenly couldn’t see a thing.

And the weird, creepy voice was whispering in her ear, and she was kind of focusing on it, but not really. She wanted the hat off so she could see again. So she could be accepted into Gryffindor the same way Lindsey had been.

And then it was over before it had really started.

Emily almost cried when she heard her fate.

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

When the hat was finally taken off of her head, the Gryffindors weren’t looking at her, absorbed into their own conversations. Because Emily wasn’t one of them, so why should they care?

As she walked over to the table that was cheering for her, Emily felt rather invisible.

***

Rose still didn’t see the problem.

Emily’s best friend, now proudly wearing green and silver, chomped happily on an apple as she blew through her charms homework. They were sitting together in the quad just a week later, and Rose had already taken it upon herself to get perfect marks on everything.

Emily couldn’t figure out how to tie her tie so that it was centered.

“Seriously, Em, there’s no need to keep wallowing. You love everyone in your house, and you fit in perfectly. They’re clearly your people.” Rose said through a mouthful of apple.

Emily rolled her eyes.

“You can say I don’t get it all you want, but you already love Sam. And Tierna. And Andi. And - ”

“I get it,” Emily cut her off with a huff. “It’s not the people that’s the problem. I just feel, I don’t know, like I wasn’t good enough.”

Rose eyed her wearily.

“The sorting isn’t a tryout. If it were, it wouldn’t exactly be _hard _to get into Gryffindor. Lose a couple brain cells and that’s where you’d be.”

Emily didn’t feel like arguing. So she didn’t.

Rose went back to her homework.

A couple minutes later, Emily spotted Lindsey walking by. She was with a group of Gryffindors, and Emily felt hot jealousy swirl in her stomach.

As if she could sense Emily’s discomfort, Rose looked up.

“Lindsey! Hey!” Rose called out across the quad. Emily groaned immediately. Rose ignored her.

Lindsey smiled brightly at the two of them, and wandered over, away from her group. Emily glared at Rose, who shrugged.

“Hey Rose. How’s the homework?”

“Easy. Emily would be done too, if she would stop sulking about which house she’s in,” Rose said, and Emily slapped her unceremoniously on the arm.

Lindsey looked confused.

“Hey, I’m Emily,” Emily said. “I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Lindsey,” Lindsey said. “What’s wrong with Hufflepuff, exactly?”

“Nothing,” Emily said tightly. “Rose was joking, that’s all.”

“Oh. Okay. Rose, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yep!”

With that, Lindsey left them.

Emily wondered what was so special about her that she got to flaunt the red and gold.

***

Second year, _everyone _was trying out for their Quidditch teams.

Including Emily.

She had practiced nonstop over the summer with her new Hufflepuff friend Sam, who was already as tall as a lot of the fourth years. Emily was still tiny. But so was Rose. And Rose was trying out, too.

(She wouldn’t shut up about Alex Morgan, a sixth year star chaser. Rose wanted to be _just_ like her).

And despite last year’s dilemma, Emily really _did_ fit in well with the Hufflepuffs. She had always found herself to be awkward, but the thing was, her house didn’t really seem to care. They found Emily to be entertaining – and when Emily was making people laugh, she felt _seen_.

Sam and Emily marched out onto the pitch for tryouts together. Emily immediately noticed how small she was compared to everyone else.

The Hufflepuff caption, O’Reilly, kicked off the tryout with a race around the pitch. The trick was, contact was not only allowed, but encouraged. And Emily, at maybe 90 pounds, was the easiest target on the pitch.

As player after player battered her around, she gritted her teeth and readied herself for the next hit, focused solely on staying on her broom.

She didn’t win the race. She wasn’t even close to the top ten.

But she also didn’t quit.

When she saw the respect in O’Reilly’s eyes, she thought that maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.

***

It wasn’t.

To be fair, most second years didn’t make the Quidditch team. Sam had, but she was the same size of at least half the fourth years. Rose hadn’t made it either. And Rose had never _not_ made anything before. She sulked openly, muttering and breaking quills while scratching angrily at her homework.

After a week, Emily had had enough of her self-pity.

“Come on, Rose, literally no one but Sam made their team. Mal didn’t make Ravenclaw, I didn’t make Hufflepuff, Dansby didn’t make Gryffindor -”

Rose mumbled something under her breath.

“What?”

“I said, Lindsey made it. She’s a chaser.”

That shut Emily up.

_Of course_ Lindsey had made it.

As a chaser, nonetheless. And she was only a second year.

Emily wondered how Lindsey seemed to get everything Emily could ever want.

***

Rose did eventually get over her disappointment about getting cut.

Emily was relieved for about a day.

Because instead of sulking, Rose decided to go into what Emily dubbed, ‘intense Rose mode’. She started practicing flying every single morning at the break of dawn, going for hours at a time to ensure her spot on the Slytherin team the next year.

And when Emily made fun of her, she simply said, “If you were serious about making it, you’d be out there with me.”

Emily wasn’t so good at passing up a challenge.

It was a good thing Emily had always been a morning person. She smiled easily when she saw Rose already on her broom at 5:30 the next day –

That is, until she saw who they were training with.

It took Emily ten seconds to figure out why Lindsey had made the Gryffindor team.

She flew like a maelstrom.

She was perfect tact blended with raw power and laser focus. She made Rose look like an amateur, and Rose was one of the best Quidditch players Emily knew.

Emily grimaced slightly before taking off to join them. Rose nodded in approval at her arrival, and Lindsey smiled at her.

Lindsey had really, really nice dimples.

Emily almost didn’t catch herself before she smiled back. But she did, and flew past Lindsey without more than a curt nod.

There were more important things than dimples, anyway.

***

The morning practices with Lindsey became a regular thing.

The first time Lindsey critiqued Emily, Emily had just pulled of a juke she _knew_ was sloppy. Lindsey had flown over after.

“Hey, maybe you should try turning a little tighter on that spin. It’ll trip the defender up more,” she had suggested (quite nicely, actually).

Not that it made Emily any less angry.

“Well, I’m sorry we can’t all be as perfect as you,” Emily had spit out immediately.

She regretted it instantly.

Especially with the disbelief that appeared on Lindsey’s face.

It was just that, Lindsey was so _noticeable_. With her perfect icy blue eyes, and her innate flying skills, and of course, the red scarf she wore around her neck, showcasing her house.

It was hard not to detest Lindsey for being exactly who Emily wanted to be.

But she felt bad for snapping. She especially felt bad later, when she nodded easily to Rose telling her she should tighten her grip on the quaffle unless she wanted to get it knocked away.

Lindsey’s eyes bore into her at her graceful acceptance of Rose’s critique. Emily flushed red.

When they touched down, Lindsey only said goodbye to Rose.

Emily wasn’t sure if it was because Lindsey was angry, of if she had just forgotten Emily was there.

***

Third year, Rose made the Slytherin team (much to Emily’s relief).

Emily made the Hufflepuff team too.

But not as a chaser.

O’Reilly had talked to her after the tryout to tell her the news.

“You’re tiny, Sonnett, but you’re scrappy. And resilient. Which means you’ll make a fantastic beater,” She had said. Emily had smiled and nodded, but scowled on the inside.

No one cared about the beaters. Everyone cared about the star chasers, the forwards – the names known around the school. Tobin Heath for Hufflepuff. Alex Morgan for Slytherin. Carli Lloyd for Ravenclaw.

And of course, Lindsey Horan for Gryffindor.

Beaters may as well have been invisible.

But O’Reilly was right – Emily _was _good at it. At their first practice, she wacked a bludger with all her might, making _Tobin Heath_ have to roll to the side and miss a shot on the hoop.

“Good work, kid,” Tobin had said (slightly begrudgingly). Emily beamed.

She might not be in the spotlight, but she at least she was contributing.

***

“I’m going out to Hogsmeade with Rose, Lindsey, and Mal tonight. You’re invited,” Sam said over the homework splayed out on one of the tables in the Hufflepuff common room.

Emily made a face.

“Lindsey? As in Lindsey Horan?”

“Yeah, Emily. We’re all friends with her, except you for whatever reason.”

“I’m not _not _friends with her. She probably doesn’t even know who I am.”

“Okay, then come tonight.”

And Emily didn’t have an argument for that. So she went.

The group ended up at the Three Broomsticks. Emily was doing what she did best – goofing off, doing a terrible impression of Professor Snape yelling at her when she had made her cauldron explode during the last class. Everyone was laughing, and it made Emily feel good. Feel like she was worth something.

When she heard Lindsey laugh, clear and bright, the tips of her ears turned red.

Later, when they had settled down, Lindsey surprised Emily by taking the seat next to her.

“Hey.”

Emily studied her wearily.

“Sup?”

“You’ve been playing really well for Hufflepuff,” Lindsey said. “The bludger’s like, the same size as you and you still managed to nearly knock me off my broom.”

Emily tilted her head.

“You noticed?”

“Well, yeah. You’re definitely a stand out player.”

“Oh. Thanks. Uh, you too.”

Emily cringed at her own awkwardness, but Lindsey didn’t seem to mind.

And Lindsey – Gryffindor, star chaser – didn’t have a huge ego, or an attitude, or anything else Emily somehow expected from her.

Emily wasn’t sure if that made her better or worse.

***

From that night on, Emily and Lindsey weren’t friends, exactly, but maybe acquaintances.

When Lindsey smiled at her when they passed in the corridor, Emily didn't stop herself from smiling back.

***

By the time fourth year rolled around, Lindsey had a boyfriend.

Of course she did. Lindsey had clear blue eyes, blond hair, a perfect smile. Not to mention she was a star Quidditch player.

Emily would never admit it, but Lindsey was definitely the ultimate catch.

Right around fourth year, Emily realized boys weren’t really her thing.

She also felt a twinge of something when she looked at the older Gryffindor boy Lindsey was dating.

Because Emily wasn’t older. Or a Gryffindor. Or a boy.

She wondered why the thought had even popped into her head.

***

Fifth year meant patronuses.

It was the talk of their grade from the start of the semester. Casting a patronus was the most highly anticipated lesson at Hogwarts, with all four houses combining in the too-small Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom to learn how to conjure the silver creatures.

“If my patronus is something stupid, and everyone sees it, I’m just gonna shrivel up and die,” Rose said anxiously.

Emily and Sam rolled their eyes at the same time.

“Hey, Emily, I bet Rose’s is a weasel.”

“No, you’re way off. She’s definitely more of a chinchilla.”

Rose glared at both of them.

“Guys, come on. This is serious.”

“_Guys, come on. This is serious,_” Emily mocked. Rose’s face scrunched up even more, and she left Sam and Emily giggling in favor of finding her Slytherin friends.

Emily was quite proud of the bobcat that pranced around her head, minutes into the class. It wasn’t flashy, sure, but it was solid, and she was one of the first ones to managed to conjure the full form.

She was proud, and she turned to Sam to see what she thought about it. But Sam was staring at the ceiling, mouth agape.

Because someone had managed to create an impeccable phoenix that was soaring up at the ceiling.

Emily knew who it was without even looking.

Her bobcat flickered out when she was Lindsey with her wand raised, head high, a sight to behold with silver wisps shooting from her wand toward the phoenix. It was undoubtedly hers.

The entire class seemed to be in awe.

For the hundredth time, Emily wondered how Lindsey managed to be so _visible_.

She watched the Gryffindor smile and accept praise from everyone, even Rose. Rose, who was the single proudest person Emily knew.

Emily was willing to wallow in her disdain for Lindsey for the rest of the class until –

Lindsey walked over to her.

“Hey, Emily, I saw your bobcat. I think it’s perfect for you,” Lindsey said softly.

Emily’s initial reaction was to take offense.

“How do you figure that?” She asked sharply.

“I don’t know, it’s small but fierce? Dangerous but cute?”

Emily felt herself blush all the way down to her neck.

“Oh. Uh, thanks.”

Emily didn’t know what to make of the fact that Lindsey paid attention to her.

***

Sixth year, Emily decided she wanted to be a professional Quidditch player.

And even though she didn’t have the name recognition that Rose and Sam and Lindsey had, she knew she was one of the best beaters Hogwarts had seen. She had a knack for connecting the bludgers with her target with absurd accuracy, and she knew she had a good chance at getting a spot in the draft when she graduated.

That’s how she ended up at a clinic for league hopefuls in the spring of her sixth year.

Lindsey was there too.

And when Lindsey and Emily were put on the same team for the scrimmage, Emily learned that flying with Lindsey was ethereal.

She was so, _so_ good.

Whenever the other team’s chasers got near her, Emily would whack a bludger their way. But Lindsey didn’t even need it – not really. She could out-juke everyone else on the pitch.

After the clinic, Lindsey approached Emily in the locker room.

“Hey.”

Emily jumped – she was only in her sports bra and shorts – and whirled to face Lindsey, who was biting her lip.

“Hey.”

“You were phenomenal out there.”

Emily was rather taken aback by that. As far as she could tell, Lindsey had been the star of the clinic, leading in goals _and _steals.

“Oh. Thanks.”

Emily cringed a little at her own awkwardness. She dug around for her shirt.

Lindsey reached for her arm.

“How come you always seem surprised when I’m nice to you?”

Lindsey’s eyes were boring into her, crystal blue in the white light of the locker room.

“I dunno.”

Lindsey’s brow furrowed.

“Look, I’m close to Rose, and Sam, and Mal – but I barely know you. Why don’t we just, like, hang out sometime? Get to know each other?”

Emily suddenly understood why Lindsey was a Gryffindor. She had been cold to Lindsey since the day they met, and Lindsey _still_ had no qualms about asking if they could simply _be friends_.

Emily felt something stir in her stomach at that.

“Sure. Why not?”

***

So yeah, Emily hadn’t _always_ been in love with Lindsey.

But she fell hard her seventh year.

They became quick friends after throwing the quaffle around one afternoon. Lindsey laughed at every single one of Emily’s jokes.

Not even _Rose_ did that.

And Lindsey’s laugh made Emily’s chest flutter in a way Rose’s certainly didn’t.

Emily began to look forward to the time she spent with the Gryffindor. Lindsey went out of her way to make time for her – they studied together, practiced together, eventually even just sought out each other’s company, just for the sake of it. And she knew, in the back of her head, what was happening.

She knew that the blue of Lindsey’s eyes had suddenly become her favorite color.

She knew that there was a reason she chased after Lindsey’s laugh with such dedication.

She _knew_ that the goosebumps that followed Lindsey’s vacant touches to her elbow, her shoulder, her hand – they weren’t from the cold.

She didn’t know for sure, though, until the end of their seventh year.

It was late at night, and they were pouring over a potions textbook in the library in preparation for their final NEWT. Potions, stereotypically, was Lindsey’s least favorite subject.

“Hey, Em, remember second year?”

“Trying to study, Linds.”

Lindsey shoved at Emily’s side until Emily relented at looked over at her.

“Fine. What about it?”

“We flew together.”

“Yeah, we sure did.”

“I thought you hated me.”

Emily studied Lindsey carefully. Her eyes were big and sincere with a trace of sadness, and she reached out to play with Emily’s fingers.

Emily had never even considered that she could make someone like Lindsey Horan feel small.

“I guess I was jealous.”

“Of me?”

“Yeah. You were in Gryffindor, and you had gotten a spot on the Quidditch team already – you were like, perfect.”

Lindsey blushed a little. She stopped playing with Emily’s hands in favor of tugging at her tie.

“I remember that your tie was crooked, even back then.”

“I didn’t think you even knew who I was.”

“Of course I did. How could I not?”

Emily’s heart soared into her throat.

She tried to go back to studying, but Lindsey’s hand had now settled on her thigh, and she couldn’t focus.

She thought about how Lindsey had always been the person to make her feel the most _seen_.

And in that second, she knew.

She knew she had fallen irrevocably hard.

Because Lindsey’s flowery scent had invaded her senses, and Lindsey’s hand was big and warm on her thigh, and Lindsey’s laugh was echoing in her head, and it was definitely Emily's favorite sound in the entire world.

But she didn’t think there was any way someone as perfect as Lindsey could feel the same.

(Later that night, when Lindsey had gone to bed, and Emily was alone in the library, she checked – just to see.

Sure enough, her patronus had shifted form. The phoenix was just as impressive as she remembered it.)

***

Lindsey and Emily both got drafted to the Holyhead Harpies.

And Emily both thanked and cursed her lucky stars.

Because Lindsey was her favorite person in the world. But she also had no idea how to stop loving her.

Rose, of course, noticed.

“So, are you ever gonna grow the balls to tell Lindsey how you feel?” She said casually one day, over a cup of morning coffee in their shared apartment. Emily nearly choked.

“Big talk for someone whose patronus is a songbird.”

“You can insult me all you want, but we both know it’s a deflection mechanism.”

Emily sighed.

“She’s not even gay, Rose.”

“Says who?”

“Says her ex boyfriend.”

Rose rolled her eyes.

“Bi people _do _exist, you know.”

“Fake news.”

“Just tell her, Em. What’s the worst that could happen?”

But Emily wasn’t a Gryffindor.

And she had a sinking feeling that she would never be good enough for someone like Lindsey.

She didn’t tell Rose that. But somehow, Rose knew from the way Emily stared at her coffee blankly as she stirred it.

“Emily. Lindsey would be lucky to have you.”

“Maybe.”

“Definitely.”

“Just drop it, okay?”

And Rose did, giving Emily a pained look as she went back to reading her book on wizarding medicine.

Emily wondered if there was any chance that her best friend was right.

***

After their last practice of the season, Lindsey and Emily were lying on their backs in the middle of the Quidditch pitch, well after everyone else had gone home. It was dark, the summer evening was nice, and Emily liked looking at the stars.

She also liked looking at Lindsey.

She really liked it when Lindsey looked back.

“Hey Em?”

“Yeah?”

“How come you wanted to be in Gryffindor so bad?”

Emily blinked in surprise at Lindsey bringing up their school days, specifically a detail she had only mentioned once.

(Lindsey, it seemed, never forgot a thing about Emily.)

Emily gave it a second of thought.

“I always felt like, I don’t know, being in Gryffindor meant you were worth something. That you passed some sort of test.”

Lindsey rolled onto her side so she could see Emily better, resting her head on her hand. Emily followed suit.

“I guess I don’t really get it.”

“Well yeah. You’re Lindsey Horan. You didn’t have anything to prove to anyone.”

“And you did?”

Emily sighed.

“I thought so. I was always, like, small, and awkward, and unnoticeable. Guess that’s why I got sorted into Hufflepuff.”

Lindsey was quiet for a while. She had a crease in her brow that Emily wanted to reach out and smooth over.

But she wasn’t brave. So she didn’t.

Lindsey didn’t respond for so long that Emily jumped a little when she finally did.

“Or maybe you got sorted into Hufflepuff because you’re unbelievably kind. Because you go out of your way to put others before yourself. Because you’re loyal to a fault. Because you’re so good at making everyone laugh, and making everyone believe in themselves.”

“Lindsey - ”

But now that Lindsey had started, she didn’t seem to want to stop.

“Emily, I looked up to you the second I met you. You put the brightest smiles on people’s faces. Every time you walk into a room, it just lights up. And I just don’t understand how you can think that you’re not worth anything because you weren’t in some stupid school house. Because you’re clearly worth everything.”

Emily’s throat closed up and she stared into Lindsey’s wide, sincere eyes. She felt tears well up in her own.

Lindsey made her feel like she was the most important person in the whole world.

“And your tie was always crooked, Em. Always.”

Lindsey said it so softly Emily almost missed it.

She laughed a little, which was enough to make Lindsey roll onto her back again.

And the thought was heavy in Emily’s head as they laid in silence, too heavy to ignore forever, and their hands were just inches apart -

“Lindsey. I have to tell you something,” Emily said before she could chicken out. She could feel her heart pounding in her ears – she wasn’t sure she could do this, if she could have the courage to go through with it –

Lindsey looked over. “Yeah?”

Emily nodded. She couldn’t get out any words. She closed her eyes and willed them to come, but they stacked up at the back of her throat, choking her –

“Em? Are you okay?”

_Get a grip, Emily._

She felt paralyzed.

“Emily.” Lindsey’s voice was coated with real concern now. And Emily couldn’t have her worried. Not over this.

Emily managed to suck in a breath. She reached for her wand.

“_Expecto Patronum_.”

The phoenix lit up the stands of the stadium, soaring high above them. Emily was too scared to look over at Lindsey to see how she was reacting. She kept her eyes clenched shut, struggling to keep her heartrate under control.

“No fucking way.”

Emily’s heart sank.

How could she be so stupid? Of course Lindsey didn’t feel the same way. Emily was just _Emily_, and Lindsey was so good, so perfect, with her kindness and her dimples and her talent and her _everything_.

She clutched her wand tighter as she felt the phoenix fade out.

She wondered, briefly, if Lindsey would ever talk to her again.

But then Lindsey’s hand was in hers, tugging hard, making Emily turn toward her and her eyes shoot open. And Lindsey’s eyes were big and vulnerable, and her lips were parted, and her wand was in her hand –

Emily wasn’t exactly sure what she was expecting to happen next. Some sort of rejection, probably.

Lindsey didn’t even break eye contact as she waved her wand.

Emily squinted in confusion at the silver animal that appeared right next to Lindsey, sitting contentedly. Because phoenixes didn’t _sit_.

Because it wasn’t a phoenix.

Emily hadn’t seen the bobcat in a while, and it felt a lot like welcoming back an old friend.

She looked at Lindsey in disbelief.

“Wait – that’s – is that – ”

“It’s you.”

And Lindsey was pulling her closer, close enough she could see the blue in her eyes, even in the dark. Close enough that Emily could put her hand on Lindsey’s waist as Lindsey reached out to stroke a hand across Emily’s jaw.

“It’s _always_ been you, Emily.”

And Lindsey was kissing her.

Lindsey was kissing her so softly that Emily couldn’t even breathe. Lindsey was kissing her and the bobcat glowed brighter, and Lindsey’s hand kept stroking her jaw, and Lindsey tasted like the vanilla chapstick she was always putting on.

Lindsey was kissing her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered.

And as Emily kissed back, she knew.

She wasn’t invisible. She had never even been invisible.

All she needed was someone to make her see herself.


	2. you know hearts don't break around here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and sweet

Lindsey was fairly certain that there was never a time that she didn’t notice Emily Sonnett.

She can even recall the smaller girl from all the way back during the Sorting Ceremony. Emily had been so _bouncy_, whispering comments to the tiny brunette next to her that made them both dissolve into giggles.

Lindsey wanted to know what they were saying.

And when Lindsey was sorted into Gryffindor, she was proud. She had every right to be. Lindsey had always been in favor of taking the harder path, the road less traveled. Making the tough decision. The hat had recognized that before calling out her new house for everyone to hear.

But when the smaller, bouncy girl got sorted into Hufflepuff, Lindsey half wished that she could also sport the yellow and black.

***

But Emily Sonnett didn’t like Lindsey.

Lindsey didn’t know why, but she found out about Emily's disdain fairly quickly. The little brunette that was friends with Emily was sorted into Slytherin, and she and Lindsey became fast friends after a potions class together where they discovered a shared love of Quidditch. Rose was smart and witty and undeniably Slytherin – but also unmistakably kind.

“Yeah, Linds, you have to meet my friend Emily. You’re gonna love her,” Rose had said during that potions class. “She’s chaotic, but you’ll love her.”

Lindsey had believed her.

Until she met Emily. She had been walking across the quad with Dansby and Morgan, and Rose had called her over. Rose, who was sitting with Emily.

Emily’s tie was comically crooked. She looked grumpy.

She _was _grumpy. Her blond hair was a mess, and her tie was crooked, and she was sulking about being sorted into Hufflepuff.

She had a spray of freckles dotting her cheeks. Lindsey thought she was cute.

Emily barely even looked at her when she introduced herself.

Lindsey had never really felt small before. But Emily brushing her off made her insides curl uncomfortably. She wondered what she could do to make the Hufflepuff like her.

***

Lindsey spent six wondering.

Six whole years of noticing Emily, and Emily methodically _not_ noticing Lindsey.

It should’ve driven Lindsey insane. Because the more Lindsey saw of the goofy, charming side of Emily, the side that was impossibly close to all of Lindsey’s friends, the more she wished Emily would just _notice_ her. She wished Emily’s radiant smile would be directed at her, once in a while.

But Lindsey had a pinpoint of hope.

Because sometimes – sometimes, Lindsey would feel Emily’s eyes on her. Like when she was with that boy she dated in her fourth year. Like when she tried to flirt with her during that Defense Against the Dark Arts class, just to see how she would react. Like during the clinic at the end of their sixth year, when she flew better than she ever had – with Emily at her back, sending perfect bludgers at anyone who so much as looked at her.

And Lindsey was _tired_ of not knowing Emily.

So she told her as much. In the locker room, as soon as the thought crossed her mind.

And Emily – with her messy hair, and her wide eyes, and stubborn freckles –

(and abs, Merlin) –

Emily agreed.

Lindsey smiled to herself as she left that locker room. With any luck, the next year would go very, very well.

***

It took Lindsey a year and a half to get Emily to fall in love with her.

Which was stupidly unfair, because Lindsey was pretty sure part of her had _always _been a little in love with Emily. She was sunk - hook, line, and sinker - from the first day they hung out, leisurely throwing a quaffle while Emily cracked joke after joke.

Emily’s smile did _things _to her.

It became ridiculous pretty fast. The second the Hufflepuff came into view – with her crooked tie, and half smile, showing off her dimples – Lindsey’s heart would beat a little faster.

She found herself looking at Emily when they were together. And she knew she shouldn’t, because Emily was decidedly _not interested_. But Lindsey couldn’t help herself.

Because Emily’s personality was so big, but, physically, she was so small. And all Lindsey wanted to do was hold her, and to touch her _all _the time.

But Emily didn’t seem to reciprocate. Lindsey would flirt so unabashedly – putting her hand on Emily’s thigh, playing with her fingers, her tie – but all Emily would do was look down and blush.

It was slowly driving Lindsey insane. She couldn’t get Emily out of her head.

One night, when she was lying in her dormitory bed, sleep evading her once again due to lingering thoughts of Emily – her smile, hands, eyes - she wondered.

Wondered how deep she had dug herself in.

She somehow knew before she even wandered downstairs to cast the patronus. Knew that it had changed. Because she had had a crush on Emily for years, but now –

Now her entire world revolved around her.

Lindsey stared at the flickering bobcat and realized she was deep enough that she wouldn’t be able to escape anytime soon.

When their entire seventh year passed, and Emily was still oblivious or disinterested or both, Lindsey talked to the only person she could.

“Hey, Rose, do you know if Emily’s straight?” Lindsey asked as nonchalantly as she could one afternoon. She and Rose were at Lindsey’s apartment. Lindsey was cooking dinner while Rose was sat at the counter, studying for a medical exam she had coming up.

Lindsey was hoping Rose didn’t notice the slight shake in her voice, or the way she was clutching the wooden spoon way too tightly.

It was futile. Rose noticed everything.

The Slytherin looked up from her book, then shut it. She had a knowing gleam in her eye that made Lindsey want to shrink into herself.

“You really had to ask?”

“Well, I mean, she didn’t really date while we were in school. And I don’t know if she hooked up with anyone?”

“Emily has _no _game. And she’s gayer than you, dude.”

“Oh.”

Lindsey tried to go back to stirring the soup she had on the stove, as if Rose’s answer had satisfied her. But Rose’s eyes continued to burn into her back.

“Yes, Rose?”

“You two are ridiculous.”

“What?”

“You’re both _clearly_ into each other.”

Lindsey was pretty confused at that.

“Rose, I flirted with Emily for the entirety of last year. If she was interested in me, she would’ve noticed.”

“No, Linds. Anyone else would’ve noticed. Not Emily.”

Lindsey gave up on her façade of focusing on her cooking, and put down the spoon if favor of leaning on the counter, facing Rose. Rose was smiling softly.

“I don’t get it.”

“Do you remember when Emily was upset that she wasn’t a Gryffindor?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah I do.”

Rose stared pointedly. Lindsey wasn't any less confused, and Rose sighed in exasperation.

“Lindsey, you have to understand something about Emily. She’s not going to think she deserves you unless you tell her.”

Lindsey shook her head in disbelief.

“Emily deserves the world.”

Rose laid a hand over Lindsey’s.

“Well, yeah. We all know that. The thing is, Emily doesn’t.”

***

Lying there, on the empty Quidditch field, Lindsey was wondering why she got to be in Gryffindor.

Because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t find the courage to tell Emily how she felt. And Rose had explicitly told her, that it was Lindsey’s job to bring it up, that Emily wouldn’t because Emily didn’t ‘want to hold Lindsey back’ or something equally ridiculous.

But Lindsey was still so scared of rejection. Of losing her best friend over unrequited feelings.

Lindsey hated being scared. And she especially hated it when she couldn’t move past it. Like tonight. Because the minutes were ticking past, and Lindsey couldn’t find the words to tell Emily that she was Lindsey’s _everything._

It didn’t matter. Because Emily beat her to it.

And when Lindsey was looking at that familiar phoenix soaring above the stadium she called home, she couldn’t stop the words that spilled out of her mouth.

“No fucking way.”

And Lindsey watched Emily’s face crumple, the phoenix fading as fast as it had appeared. And Lindsey remembered what Rose had said – and knew Emily thought she meant that she, Lindsey, didn’t feel the same way.

In reality, Lindsey was in awe of the bravery Emily had. The bravery Lindsey hadn’t been able to summon.

So she tugged on Emily’s hand, making her face her, and showed her that Emily had absolutely nothing to worry about. That Emily’s bobcat had always been way more impressive than that dumb phoenix, anyway. Because it was so uniquely _Emily_.

When Lindsey _finally_ kissed Emily, everything felt right in the world. Because Emily was hers.

***

That night, Lindsey took Emily home.

Lindsey couldn’t stop looking at her.

The slope of her neck, the way her hair fell around her face, the freckles across her nose.

All of it – all of Emily - was finally hers.

And they settled in on Lindsey’s couch, putting on a movie – but Lindsey couldn’t tear her eyes away. As she was looking, she noticed it. The doubt, the slight fear lingering in Emily’s eyes.

“Hey,” Lindsey muttered softly as she pulled Emily close to her. Emily let out a hum sank into her shoulder easily. Lindsey wasn’t fooled.

“Babe,” she prodded again. Emily smiled softly at the term of endearment, changing her angle so she could look up at Lindsey.

“Yeah?”

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

“Yeah Linds. I know.”

“Okay.”

And Emily turned again so she could see the movie. And Lindsey tightened her grip on Emily’s waist, hoping it could somehow portray the way she felt – how she had never been sure of anything the way she was sure of Emily.

Emily took it as an invitation to kiss her.

Lindsey would never get tired of kissing Emily. She tasted like that cinnamon gum she was always chewing, and when Lindsey opened her mouth slightly, Emily didn’t waste a second in dipping her tongue into Lindsey’s mouth.

Emily threw a leg over Lindsey to straddle her. Lindsey inhaled sharply.

And Lindsey’s hands were skimming Emily’s hips, sliding under her shirt to trace her abs. And Emily had a hand entangled in Lindsey’s hair and another on her collarbone, slowly dropping down below her collar.

It was all moving so quickly.

And when Emily pulled away for a second to breathe, the fear and doubt in her eyes hadn’t faded.

Lindsey’s heart broke a little.

“Em,” Lindsey said, and her voice came out raspy.

“Mmm,” Emily hummed, dipping her head to attach her lips to Lindsey’s neck.

Lindsey stifled a moan.

“Hey, Em, come on. Babe,” Lindsey said, tugging lightly at Emily’s hair to get her to look back up.

“Wanna make you feel good,” Emily protested. Lindsey felt the words deep in her chest.

“I know. And we'll get there. But not yet.”

“Why not?”

“I’m tired,” Lindsey lied. “I kind of just want to go to bed.”

The relief that flooded Emily’s eyes was clear.

“Come with me?”

Emily nodded, and Lindsey took her hand to lead her into her bedroom. She tugged off Emily’s practice jersey and shorts, giving her an old t shirt and boxers to sleep in.

Lindsey’s eyes lingered on Emily’s abs, and Emily blushed.

Lindsey pulled back the covers on her bed, letting Emily climb in first. When she followed, she immediately wrapped her arms around Emily.

And Emily’s body felt so small in her arms, making a fresh wave of affection roll over Lindsey.

She placed soft kisses on the back of Emily’s neck, planning carefully what she was going to say. She waited until she felt Emily relax completely against her.

“Em. I want you to know that I love you.”

Emily stiffened as if getting ready to say something.

“No, Emily. I don’t want you to say it back yet. Because I want you to know that I love you unconditionally. And I have, for a while now. And I’m always going to. Whether you love me back, whether we’re in a relationship, whether we’re making out or just cuddling. I love you for being _you_, not for anything you’re doing for me.”

And Emily was turning in her arms to face her, eyes shining in the dark. She reached up and traced a hand across Lindsey’s jaw.

“You don’t have to earn my love, Emily. You already have it.”

Emily was speechless as she stared into Lindsey’s eyes. She opened a closed her mouth a few times, as if thinking about how to respond.

Lindsey waited. She could wait forever.

“I can’t believe you don’t get to have that badass phoenix patronus anymore.”

Lindsey laughed softly.

“I always liked the bobcat way better.”

And Emily kissed her impossibly lightly, pulling back to whisper –

“I love you too.”

The feeling of Emily’s breath evening out against her chest was something Lindsey was never going to grow tired of.

***

The next morning, Lindsey was greeted with the sight of Emily in her clothes, in her kitchen, making pancakes.

Her hair was swept up into a messy bun, music playing quietly, her dance moves on full display.

Lindsey just watched, leaning against the counter, an almost painfully wide smile spread across her face.

When Emily noticed her, she grinned right back.

Lindsey’s heart swelled, thumping against her ribs. She wondered if Emily could feel it when the smaller girl walked over and pulled Lindsey into a soft hug.

"Linds?" Emily murmured into Lindsey's neck.

"Yeah?"

"I still love you."

"Glad nothing's changed in the past eight hours," Lindsey joked. But she knew Emily could feel her heartrate accelerate at the words. And when Emily pulled away, Lindsey resisted, tightening her grip to keep her close.

"But I still love you too, Em. Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to

**Author's Note:**

> what'd you guys think??
> 
> I switched around the houses big time, but tobin heath will be a Hufflepuff til the day I die


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